Most Obvious Reasons Why Men Prefer Dating Bisexual Women!

Bisexual women are in abundance and dating them can indeed be a great experience. Today, we at Sarcasm are taking this time to go through some of the most obvious reasons why some men prefer dating bisexual women.

We will reflect on all the perks there are when you date bisexual women and a whole of the male population must realize why the ones that know about these little things lean towards dating bisexual women.

Most Obvious Reasons Why Men Prefer Dating Bisexual Woman

1. They have everything that you love about a straight woman and with that, they also bear lesbian-ish side that a man can be good friends with.

2. They’re great when it comes to s3x as they know how it is like on both sides. They definitely kick ass in bed. 

3. They can relate to your situations better as they know what it’s like being on either side of the fence.

Bisexual women

4. They’ll easily get along with your parents as their feminine side will be able to lure your mother and their gritty side will definitely get along with your father.

Bisexual women

5. Bisexual women are gorgeous. The fact that they also are interested in guys makes them work hard upon their feminine appearance as well.

Bisexual women

6. They might be up for a little experimentation in the bed. As they enjoy both the flavors, they might be happy to involve another girl in a three-way.

Bisexual women

Note: That might not always the case so don’t bear a stereotypical thinking about it.

7. They are more responsive on dating apps as compared to straight women. It is often hard to find the right woman who is into you on Tinder or any other dating app but bisexual women are more open.

Bisexual women

8. They aren’t judgmental about anyone’s sexuality and are more open about everything.

Bisexual women

9. They are more determined than you think they are. Just because they are both genders doesn’t mean that they are confused.

Bisexual women

10. They are in abundance. It is not as hard as you think it is to find them. 

Bisexual women

11. Bisexual women are diverse. You won’t find much similarity is one bisexual woman as compared to the other. S3xuality has nothing to do with one’s characteristics.

Bisexual women

12. They are more satisfied with their bodies as compared to straight women.

These reasons are quite enough for someone to start dating bisexual women. All you need to do is drop all your stereotypes and look at all the perks that come with it.

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Have a High-Tech Halloween With Your Own Haunted Smart Home

The holiday season is in full swing, which means we’re all whipping out our decorations and decking our homes out for the festivities ahead. First up: Halloween. That means it’s time to get your spook on. Between monstrous masks that evoke the horror icons who haunt our nightmares (thanks, Chucky), and our favorite home decor (like dangling skeletons and that cobweb gunk you can never seem to fully scrape off), you’ve got plenty of ways to make your house the scariest on the block.

But it’s 2017, and you don’t need to pull out all your decorations just to get in the Halloween spirit. We’re living in the future, and all you need is a smart speaker like Google Home or Amazon Echo and a few connected devices to transform any pad into a creepy crypt fit for the damned.


Take your haunted house to the next level with some eerie tunes. Google Home and Alexa work with Spotify, so you can tell it “play my Halloween playlist” and it’ll start blasting your favorite frightful tunes. If you don’t have time to make your own playlist, Spotify has plenty to choose from. You can even hook up your Echo Dot to a few Sonos speakers to fill the whole house with a nice ominous vibe.

Give Your Crib a Creepy Hue

Ditch your old school bulbs, and install a couple of Philips’ color-changing LED lights to give your house a creepy vibe for your poppin’ Halloween party. Using Phillips Hue bulbs, you can paint any room in whatever spooky color your choose and tell your voice assistant of choice to change the lighting whenever you feel like scaring the neighbors. Plus, using apps like Sync My Lights and Hue Disco, your lights can sync to whatever scary movie or tune you’re enjoying. If you use Hue bulbs outdoors, you can give your home an ominous lighting scheme at the touch of a button.

Listener Beware, You’re in For a Scare

Once you’ve got your decoration situation all sorted out, take a seat, kick back, and have Alexa play your favorite horror audiobook from Audible. Might we suggest a bone-chilling collection of Edgar Allan Poe stories read by none other than Vincent Price?

Fright Night

Tired of having to grab the remote just to pick your favorite horror movie? If you have a Plex server set up, you can tell Alexa to play whatever movie you want, as long as it’s in your collection. Fire TV users can also use Alexa to play any movies from Prime Video. For the real thrill-seekers, we suggest last year’s unsettling The Witch. Spoiler alert: Alexa won’t pause the movie automatically if you suddenly cry out in terror.

Fog Me Up

Wanna impress your guests? Set up an automated fog machine to give your house a more ghostly vibe. Just cop a Wemo Insight Switch or two, plug ‘em in, and set up a voice trigger so your smart speaker can let some fog loose when those trick-or-treaters show up.

I Want Candy

Don’t be another sucker waiting in a long line just to fill your candy bowl with goodies for all the costume-clad kids. While you’re catching up on all your favorite horror movies, just tell Alexa to order a nice candy bag and kick back. Just make sure it gets there on time, or you’ll be the sucker.

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Lesbian and bisexual women are being incorrectly told they don’t need smear tests, LGBT charities say

Half of all eligible lesbian and bisexual women have never had a smear test, an LGBT partnership revealed

Women who have sex with women are often wrongly told they do not need
to attend cervical screening test, LGBT charities have warned.

omosessualiResearch highlighted by the National LGB&T Partnership – an alliance of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender charities – reveals that 37 per cent of women who have sex with women have been told they do not require a cervical screening test due to their sexual orientation.

This results in half of all eligible lesbian and bisexual women never having had a smear test, they said.

The human papilloma virus (HPV), which causes most cervical cancers, is passed on through intimate skin-to-skin contact, which includes sex between two women.

The partnership surveyed women on their experiences with sexual healthcare as part of the inaugural National Lesbian and Bisexual Women’s Health Week, which aims to highlight that “lesbian, bisexual and other women who have sex with women are experiencing a range of health inequalities and both face barriers to accessing healthcare and are having poor experiences when they do”.

“Lesbian, bisexual and other women who have sex with women (LBWSW) lack acknowledgement both in mainstream society and LGBT communities, and to the NHS we are largely invisible,” says Liberal Democrat peer Baroness Elizabeth Barker in the foreword of the report published in November.

“It is unacceptable that LBWSW continue to experience discrimination and that thoughtlessness compromises our healthcare.”

Other issues highlighted by the partnership’s report are that 21 per cent of bisexual women and 12 per cent of lesbian women reported a long-term mental health problem, compared with 4 per cent of heterosexual women, and that 29 per cent of lesbian and bisexual women report more binge drinking compared with 12 per cent in the general population of women.

Around 3,200 women are diagnosed with cervical cancer in the UK each year. About two out of every 100 cancers diagnosed in women (2 per cent) are cervical cancers, according to Cancer Research UK.

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7 Very Real Struggles Of Online Dating As A Bi Woman

search a bi dating site

And two very real benefits…

1Threesome requests

At least 60% of your messages, if not more, are likely to consist of words to the effect of: “My girlfriend and I were very interested in your profile…” Even, that is, if you have said you are monogamous on your profile. Even, indeed, if you have expressed a specific interest in retreating to the top of the mountain with The One, a couple of pairs of Birkenstocks and 50 cats, and avoiding all other human company for the rest of eternity (not that I would ever write anything like that on a dating profile, ahem).

2. Other rude questions

“How can you like both?” “What do women do in bed?” Um, who the f**k are you? Do I know you? This isn’t how you politely introduce yourself to people. I am not won over. Sorry. I came here to find the love of my life, not engage in smutty chat about the way I like to play with boobs – unless, that is, the person I’m speaking to is wearing those boobs. Unsolicited comments from guys wanting to presumptuously perve over or pry into my desire for women are not welcome. The politeness rule goes for men messaging self-identified non-monogamous bi women, too. Especially for them, as they’re even more open to this kind of abuse than the rest of us.

3. The lesbian filter

Unfortunately a lot of lesbians seem to take advantage of any mechanism that will erase bi women from their search results. Even if they haven’t really thought it through. It’s easy to tick a box quickly when you’re running through a huge list of questions. So, how to find and meet bisexual women online? In some cases, it’s not even immediately clear that ticking said box has eliminated a huge swathe of women-loving women.

4. The male mailbox issue

As you might have guessed from the previous points, bi women get a lot of messages from men. And, as a general rule, we don’t tend to get many from women. It’s true that women don’t message first as much as men do on dating sites. I’ve heard from more than one straight male friend with an excellent profile that they almost never get any messages. However, I do think bi women have a particular problem: Filtered out by the lesbians, fetishized by the guys.

5. The lack of bi dating sites

There’s really not very much out there, alas. And what is out there is usually sparsely populated and not very well publicized. Plus subscribing to a specifically bisexual dating website then eliminates lesbians and straight men from your search and… argh! You’ve automatically shrunk the net yourself this time. Back to square one.

6. Dropping the ‘B-bomb’ straight away

Online dating means baring all on your profile right away. No agonizing about how the hot girl flirting with you in the bar might freak out if you tell her you like guys too. You can be yourself right from the start, from behind the relative safety of your computer screen. Much easier than a lot of “real life” coming out situations.

7. Meeting other bisexuals

There’s nothing quite as refreshing as getting a message from someone else bi who is going through the same aggro. Whilst online dating can be a real b***h for bis, it can also be a great way to find like-minded souls if you’re feeling like the only bi in the village. It’s a bonus, of course, if some of those souls are cute and smart. And they want to meet up.

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Nigeria’s lesbians to challenge Act that prohibits same-sex marriage

same marriageBlackmail, excommunication, mob violence, torture and rape. These are the realities Nigeria’s lesbian and bisexual women face – and they have become progressively worse since the passing in 2014 of the Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act (SSMPA).

This is according to Akudo Oguaghamba, executive director of the Women’s Health and Equal Rights Initiative and co-chairperson of Pan-African International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association.

Oguaghamba cites examples. “Two women suspected of being in a relationship were forced by their supposed friends to have sex in public. Pictures were taken, some of which were posted online. We’ve had incidents where women were lured by hoodlums – who posed as women online – raped and pictures taken of their naked bodies. Others are robbed, raped and extorted. One family locked their young sister in the house for weeks, forcing her to proclaim that she is no longer attracted to women. During this time she was physically and verbally abused – even after she denounced her sexuality.”

In addition to the country’s women being “disproportionately affected by poverty, gender-based violence and sexual reproductive rights abuses”, Oguaghamba says “lesbian and bisexual women are often faced with the double stigma of being women and possessing a sexual orientation that is contrary to Nigerian societal norms, which are highly patriarchal, hyper-religious and conservative. So, apart from having to navigate patriarchy and sexism, we have to work and live around the Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act.”

Signed into law by then-president Goodluck Jonathan in January 2014, the Act ostensibly aims to prohibit same-sex marriage. In reality it goes much further: it not only prohibits same-sex cohabitation and any “public show” of a same-sex amorous relationship, but also imposes a 10-year prison sentence on anyone who “registers, operates or participates in gay clubs, societies and organisations” or “supports” the activities of such organisations.

A recently released report by Human Rights Watch, titled Tell Me Where I Can Be Safe, looked into the effects of the Act on the county’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community. The study found that, “while the colonial-era criminal and penal codes outlawed sexual acts between members of the same sex, the [Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act ] effectively criminalises LGBT persons based on sexual orientation and gender identity”.

“Many LGBT individuals interviewed by Human Rights Watch said that, prior to the enactment of the [Act] in January 2014, the general public objected to homosexuality primarily on the basis of religious beliefs and perceptions of what constitutes African culture and tradition. The law has become a tool used by some police officers and members of the public to legitimise multiple human rights violations perpetrated against LGBT people.

“Human Rights Watch research indicates that, since January 2014, there have been rising incidents of mob violence, with groups of people gathering together and acting with a common intent of committing acts of violence against persons based on their real or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity.

“The [Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act]  contributes to a climate of impunity for crimes committed against LGBT people, including physical and sexual violence.”

Human Rights Watch’s Wendy Isaack is the author of the report. “The Nigerian Criminal Code Act of 1990 contains provisions dealing with Offences against Morality committed by men that carry terms of imprisonment of up to 14 years,” she wrote. “The Sharia Penal Code, adopted by several northern Nigerian states, prohibits and punishes sexual activities between persons of the same sex, with the maximum penalty for men being death by stoning, and for women, whipping and/or imprisonment. Our findings demonstrate that the [Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act], in many ways, officially authorises abuses against LGBT people, effectively making a bad situation worse.”

Oguaghamba concurs with Isaack. “This law has been interpreted and misinterpreted by the police, landlords, family members, in schools and by employees. This has worsened the situation of lesbian women and drew a lot negative attention to masculine-presenting women.”

Ngozi Nwosu-Juba is a board member of the Vision Springs Initiatives. Although the organisation initially focused its efforts on promoting and securing the rights of women and girls, Nwosu-Juba says: “Following our experiences, especially with the passing of the [Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act], it became mandatory to build capacities of LGBT people, who were facing all forms of violations, hence our programming in that direction.”

Nwosu-Juba says this shift was largely a result of “organisations working with men who have sex with men are receiving most of the attention due to HIV prevalence, as this group is at high risk. So far, however, no one has committed to studying or researching some of the issues lesbian and bisexual women face.”

Although there might be scant research, there are organisations that, despite legislation prohibiting their work, are working – often with very little in the way of resources – to improve the lives of lesbian and bisexual women.

Atilola Owen is a sexual and reproductive rights activist, who heads the organisation Faith Initiative, “a group of young African feminists whose vision is to contribute to the national and global promotion of the human rights of vulnerable persons, especially women in Nigeria”.

“The [Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act] is a very draconian law, which makes it difficult for us to render services property. Many community members don’t even know there are organisations such as ours that offer services that cater to them,” she says.

In addition to the organisation’s work to inform more LGBTI people about their rights, particularly in rural areas, it also initiated a two-week football competition, which brings together lesbian and bisexual women from the eastern parts of the country.

Says Owen: “We essentially use it as an opportunity to build their self-esteem and empower them, but also to bring them together and foster unity.”

The sports event also fosters unity between the women participating in it and the broader society. “The atmosphere is always cheerful. And the fact that the community attends and is supportive makes it a really great way to bridge divides.”

Julia Chukwu, who did not want to give her real name, is a Nigerian-based legal practitioner and executive committee member of the Coalition of African Lesbians.

“It is very difficult for organisations working with LGBT people in Nigeria to function, but there is a strong presence. They’re really trying, but what has been the impact on the community and larger society? It’s good to empower LGBTI people, but we need to change the mind-set of people.”

A study released in October 2015 shows that attitudes are shifting – slowly. Titled A Closer Look at Nigeria: Attitudes on Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual People, the study, put together by the Bisi Alimi Foundation, noted: “In 2015, 87% of Nigerians supported the [Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act]. However, polling about this issue has been occurring since the law was in planning stages, starting in 2010, and measures of support have been steadily declining ever since. In 2010, 96% of respondents supported the [Act], 92% in 2013 and 87% in 2015.”

Chukwu says active steps are soon to be taken to challenge the constitutionality of the Act.

“A core group of activists are in the process of challenging clauses within the [Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act] they feel are unconstitutional. For example, the Constitution allows for the right to freedom of association, but the [Act] has stated in its provisions that [people] cannot have LGBTI clubs, groups or gatherings. This is affecting the work of organisations working within the community on, for example, HIV prevention and treatment.”

Whether this challenge yields the desired results remains to be seen. Until then, activists like Owen will continue their fight.

“You know, since this Act was passed in 2014, so many women I know want to leave Nigeria to find shelter somewhere else. But not everyone can leave Nigeria.”

“Besides,” she says, after a slight pause, “I don’t believe in running. If we all leave here, who is going to be left to conquer this? Who?”

Carl Collison is the Other Foundation’s Rainbow Fellow at the Mail & Guardian

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Sean Hannity Gives Platform to Man Who Claims Hillary Is ‘Evil,’ Bisexual ‘Secret Sex Freak’

Before interviewing Mike Pence and Kellyanne Conway on Monday night, the Fox News personality had an ‘EXCLUSIVE’ interview with Jeff Rovin, a man with a shocking ‘secret.’

On Monday night, unpaid Donald Trump adviser and current Fox News host Sean Hannity broadcasted his “EXCLUSIVE” interview with Jeff Rovin, novelist and self-identified “fixer” for Hillary and Bill Clinton. Rovin first told his story to supermarket tabloid the National Enquirer last week, opening up about his alleged past as a Clinton ally who would help the powerful couple manipulate the press and (also!) set up secret, extramarital sexual liaisons.

Hannity emphasized that Fox News could not “independently verify” Rovin’s story. He also noted that the Clinton presidential campaign—“shockingly”—did not respond to his team’s multiple requests seeking comment.

“I was fixing [for the Clintons], I really don’t like that term, but there it is,” Rovin told Hannity. “I was fixing something for an actor who was in their inner circle.”

On Monday night, unpaid Donald Trump adviser and current Fox News host Sean Hannity broadcasted his “EXCLUSIVE” interview with Jeff Rovin, novelist and self-identified “fixer” for Hillary and Bill Clinton. Rovin first told his story to supermarket tabloid the National Enquirer last week, opening up about his alleged past as a Clinton ally who would help the powerful couple manipulate the press and (also!) set up secret, extramarital sexual liaisons.

Hannity emphasized that Fox News could not “independently verify” Rovin’s story. He also noted that the Clinton presidential campaign—“shockingly”—did not respond to his team’s multiple requests seeking comment.

“I was fixing [for the Clintons], I really don’t like that term, but there it is,” Rovin told Hannity. “I was fixing something for an actor who was in their inner circle.”

Jeff Rovin also edited the Weekly World News tabloid for a time. As The Atlantic has noted, the publication “highlighted tabloid journalism’s thin line between fiction and nonfiction,” until its print edition folded in 2007. The tabloid pushed self-consciously outlandish stories, like the classic “BAT CHILD ESCAPES!” It also had its fair share of Hillary Clinton-related tall tales.


“HILLARY ADOPTS ALIEN BABY,” read a 1993 cover.

When Rovin started editing the publication, he stressed the importance of its coverage of space aliens.

“National, international, and even interplanetary events are being suppressed,” he wrote in an editor’s note on May 2, 2005. “Newspapers, television, and the internet are feeding us what dolphins call ‘meep… meepahh… marp’—Literally, lies as deep as the ocean.”

“When the government tries to cover up visits from space aliens and time travelers, we’ll be there,” Rovin continued. “(Weekly World News will even tell you what investments, if any, people from the future are making in the stock market. You won’t find that in Forbes!)”

The Trump campaign did not respond to The Daily Beast’s request for comment on whether Republican nominee sees any merit in this Enquirer story on his Democratic rival. However, the Enquirer (a Trump-endorsing tabloid long famous for printing unsubstantiated gossip and stories about space aliens and the Illuminati) and Hannity have become two of Trump’s most reliable allies in the media during this election—and sometimes in concert.

Hannity, for his part, has gone full-on conspiracy theorist during this presidential election, during which he has been doing everything in his power—including starring in an official Trump campaign ad—to get Trump elected president.

Earlier this year, when the Enquirer ran a baseless story suggesting that Ted Cruz’s dad, Rafael, was in New Orleans passing out pro-Castro pamphlets with Lee Harvey Oswald, President John F. Kennedy’s assassin, Trump widely promoted the “news,” and got his allies in the mainstream media, including Hannity, to help him in the effort.

When Trump went on Hannity’s radio show in May, the host allowed Trump to give more oxygen to the Enquirer’s supposed JFK-Cruz scoop.

At the time, when asked by The Daily Beast if Hannity would comment further—and if he felt not pushing back bolstered criticism that he is too deferential to the GOP nominee—the host emailed back: “I was saying that photo was not verified.”

Asked if he believed the Enquirer is a reliable source, Hannity said, “If [you] want to interview me, contact Fox PR.” Hannity later emailed The Daily Beast, “So is the picture authentic or not? You don’t have a clue either. Lol.”

(Well, we do have a clue: Rafael Cruz did not play a role in JFK’s death, but Hannity and the Enquirer did their thing, regardless.)

And now Hannity is back at it again, elevating National Enquirer content, all in the service of targeting the Clintons and talking up Trump on national TV.

Hannity would not comment on the record for this story. Fox News public relations did not respond to emails seeking comment. The Clinton campaign similarly did not respond to The Daily Beast’s requests for comment, soWHAT ARE THEY HIDING???

Following the Rovin interview on Monday’s episode of Hannity, the Fox News personality interviewed Trump running mate Mike Pence and Team Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway, two highly respected figures within the Republican Party who spent their Monday-night airtime talking about how great Trump is. Neither uttered one word about Rovin, the Enquirer’s story, or Hillary Clinton’s alleged past as a villainous sex freak.

Why would they, when they have a supermarket tabloid and Fox News to do their work for them?

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Lady Gaga and Beyonce’s Hot New Bisexual Video

lady-gagaEveryone’s been talking about Lady Gaga’s new song and video Telephone, which features Beyonce and Heather Cassils. It’s been labeled risqué and “too hot to handle”, so much so, that there was even a rumor that MTV had banned it, which turned out not to be true. Of course the video is all over YouTube and other sites, and it’s full of bisexual, genderqueer, gay, and trans themes. Commenters all over are using the word bisexual to describe this video, and/or to describe Lady Gaga, who in interviews has talked about the themes in the video and what she wants them to mean. She herself says the words “queer”, “homosexual” and “transsexual” when talking about it. I wish she would say the word bisexual more, but if she isn’t, it’s good that so many others seem to be picking up on it. One of the main messages she was trying to get across in  the video was was that sexuality isn’t a choice , and that binaries of gender and sexuality need to be broken down more.  Encouraging people to think outside of the box can only be good for the bisexual community. There is also the added bonus of the visibility that an out bisexual performer brings. Lady Gaga has also did an interview where she said that both she and Beyonce “liked women”, so, naturally, now people are asking if Beyonce is bisexual (as nice as that would be, playing a character in one video doesn’t make you a different orientation!).

Telephone starts off where the video Paparazzi left off. In Paparazzi, Lady Gaga had poisoned her boyfriend, and Telephone starts with her being brought into jail for murder. The jail is full of women who very obviously straddle the gender line, including the guards who bring Lady Gaga in, both of whom seem to be trans. They undress her to find out if the rumors about her being intersex are true (they confirm they are not). Having previously had a boyfriend, Lady Gaga goes on to find herself a prison girlfriend, played by Heather Cassils, who in real life is a personal trainer who admits she straddles the gender line in both appearance and attitude. They share a kiss in the prison yard. The sequence is complete with several scantily clothed women, including Lady Gaga, and dancing.

Lady Gaga then gets a call from her girlfriend, Beyonce, who bails her out of jail. They go for a ride in a car called the Pussywagon (from the movie Kill Bill Volume 1 ). They drive to a diner where Lady Gaga is the cook and Beyonce meets up with what seems to be her boyfriend; she also appears to have both a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Lady Gaga and Beyonce proceed to poison everyone in the diner, including Beyonce’s boyfriend. There are a lot of genderqueer visibility and bisexual themes here as well, such as dating both men and women, and having a lot of people in the video straddle the gender line in appearance and attitude. The video ends with the police chasing Lady Gaga and Beyonce, who ride off together and promise each other they will never come back. At the very end there is a female power symbol.

One of the best qualities of the video, and probably what is making so many people both love it and hate it, is that it shows a wide range of human sexual behavior, orientation, identity, and expression, including bisexuality, and has them all come across as normal and accepted. Some artists do this just for shock value, but it seems that Lady Gaga really is trying to send a message and get people to think outside of the many preconceived notions that society has; the biggest being that sexuality and gender identity are somehow a choice.

Love it or hate it, Lady Gaga’s video Telephone has definitely pushed the envelope in entertainment and music, and opened some doors for sexual expression in popular culture. And of course-the song itself is pretty catchy!

Coming Out Bisexual On The Real World

real worldWhen I heard that the 23rd season of MTV’s The Real World was going to take place in my hometown of Washington DC, and was going to feature two out bisexuals, I had to tune in. The show has turned out to be quite interesting. The two bisexual characters are Emily Schromm, who is 21, and Mike Manning, who is 22. Both are newly out; Emily was raised strictly religious just had her first relationship with a woman; Mike was raised very religious as well and is struggling to reconcile his faith with his sexuality, and just came out and started exploring his sexuality right before he came to DC. He came out to his housemates at dinner in the first episode, and they all seemed okay with it. He said that while he doesn’t like labels overall, he would label himself as bisexual, and has dated both men and women.

Several articles were written about both characters on BLGT blogs around the time the show premiered last December, and most were positive. Yet only one episode had aired—and already the sirens were off in the form of pages of comments saying “he’s not really bi, he’s gay, there’s no such thing as bi in men”—going on and on about the “bi now, gay later” stereotype, and quoting that ridiculous and disproven J. Michael Bailey study (how many times does a study have to be discredited before it gets through to some people)?! The absolute worst ones were here and here.  Men from both the gay and the straight communities weighed in. It was nice to see that there were several comments defending Mike, more so than the last time a bisexual man came out, so that is progress, but unfortunately the negative ones outweighed the positive ones. It is truly amazing how many people want to decide someone else’s sexuality for them, including sadly, some of Mike and Emily’s roommates who think he’s  ”just confused and is really gay” and tell her that “it’s okay if you are a lesbian”.

As much as I didn’t like the overflow of comments, there is actually progress. Much less has been said overall questioning Emily’s sexual identity, at least in the BLGT community—and I do remember a time when that was different, so it seems there is definitely a positive trend a somewhat growing acceptance for female bisexuality, though possibly not always for the reasons we would like. But it seems male bisexuality is one of the last and biggest barriers to more acceptance of bisexuals in general. What are some of the reasons for this? Let’s examine them through the adventures of Mike Manning on The Real World, and through some of the stereotypes that showed up over and over in the comments about him.

For starters there was the whole “I knew a bisexual man and he turned out to be gay”. Well, so he did. I stated in this article my opinion on what label people who are unsure when they come out should use. The actions of a few people who use the wrong label or really do go through a phase should not be used to label an entire community. I’ve actually seen a lot of the opposite: several bi men who do not want to use the bisexual label because of the negative connotation. Secondly, there was the whole “he doesn’t want to fully come out and wants to hold on to hetero-privilege”. Well, Mike Manning is totally out to his family, and came out again on national television no less. Being from a religious family myself, I can tell you that being bisexual isn’t any easier than being gay-neither one is considered good. Just ask Emily—her own sister rejected her after she came out to her on live TV. As for the hetero-privilege myth, this is my answer to that one.

A rather odd argument was that Mike has used the terms  gay  and  bi  interchangeably a few times, so that proves he is gay. I know very few bisexual and transgender people who don’t sometimes do that.  Gay has become a catchall term for BLGT, and since most of society doesn’t treat bisexuals very differently from gays, many of us feel comfortable interchanging the two sometimes.

Another argument was that rumors have said that overall by the end of the show, he had dated more guys than girls.  In the first two episodes, he made out with a girl and a guy. Why is anyone surprised by this? He just came out! He’s been suppressing the side of him that is attracted to men for years, and all those years he’s been able to act on his feelings for women, so naturally he’s going to want to explore the male attractions. When I first came out as bi, I was mainly into women for months. I’d had a 14 year head start on my attraction to men and had barely acted on my attraction to women-I wanted to make up for lost time. Once I got used to the idea of being out, I evened out. I’ve had several other bisexual people tell me they went through something similar, and I suspect that is what Mike went through. This really was not only the first time he was really out, but the first time he had access to a thriving gay community. I would have been surprised if he hadn’t chosen to explore it.

Also, Mike could “lean” more toward men, as being bisexual certainly doesn’t have to mean having a “50/50″ attraction (in fact most of us lean one way or the other).  But if he’s still attracted to both sexes-then he’s bi!  (See latest update below to learn more about this, apparently there was “creative editing” going on). Does someone’s “bi card” get revoked because their attractions aren’t always equal? Many people seem to think a “true bisexual” has to be 50/50. Most of us actually tend to lean one way or the other.

People have come up with other terms to describe which way they lean, such as “bi gay”, “bi straight”, “bi queer”, “homoflexible” and “heteroflexible”. While I don’t like to tell anyone how to label themselves, I do think people need to be less afraid to just use the term “bisexual” somewhere in their label. Words can be very powerful.  When the girl he kissed on the show (and apparently slept with behind the scenes) saw him kissing a guy, she was all grossed out and couldn’t believe she had been with a bi guy. I’m pretty sure that reactions like that from women are another reason male bisexuality isn’t popular—who wants to hear that?

Just recently Mike Manning himself gave two great interviews— one in Metro Weekly , the other in Realitywanted —both definite must reads, and most of the comments were positive!  Contrary to the rumors that he no longer identified as bisexual, he embraces the label (as much as someone who doesn’t like labels can), and talks about the biphobia in the gay community that he’s had to deal with. He also says that once guys he dates actually get to know him, they start to believe he really is bi. Personally I say thank you to Mike Manning for not bowing to pressure, for being true to who he is, and for openly embracing the label.

Emily Schromm recently gave a great interview as well to the website AfterEllen, telling us a bit more about her and her background, and about how while her bisexuality was acknowledged on the show, it was downplayed as far as showing who she dated while on the show and living in the Real World DC house.  She embraced the label as well and I’m proud of her for not caving to pressure either.  My hope is that as more bisexual men like Mike Manning and bisexual women like Emily Schromm come out, more people in both the straight and BLGT communities will take the time to get to know them and try and see them for who they really are—not who they think they should be.

Latest Update as of March 2010:  It turns out that both Mike and Emily’s hookups with women were edited out of the show, but both are talked out in this aftershow video and this interview. Both were made to appear to be mostly attracted to men. Why was it done this way?  Maybe for ratings?  I’d like to hope it’s not due to biphobia, but I really have to wonder.

Got Bisexual Bars?

So as I go out and look for ways to socialize, I realise that there is nothing made for me — yes, I can go to a straight bar and mingle, or head to my local gay bar, one  block from my house — but I find something missing, someone like me!

I’m not lesbian, I’m not gay – but there are no bisexual bars that we can feel at home. Gay men can go out and find someone like them, and feel some sense of calm. Lesbians can go to their local lipstick, sports bar or everything in between and get their groove on and find that special person.

Where can a bisexual go?

Valentine’s Day: A Personal Reflection!

new yearAs folks are getting ready to get down and funky with their loved ones, lovers and hookups…I thought, I would find the perfect video to share with our readers—the love I have for this holiday i.e., Valentine’s Day.

Because I hate this holiday more than life itself, what better way to share my single lady viewpoint via video! Enjoy this day, if you are coupled up or single!

Singles, go out there and share with the world all your joy and brilliance that makes you, you!

Now go out there and get business with it, with your fine selves!

Couples, go forth and be safe!