How to Set Up a Threesome?

A threesome very well may be the most common sexual fantasy—but as common as it is, it’s tricky to make happen in real life. Here’s your guide to turning this fantasy into a reality.

Tell Your Partner You’re Interested

If you haven’t already, the obvious first step is to let your partner know you’re interested in having a threesome. If you’re worried about how your partner might react to this news, explain your reasoning. It’s easy to think the worst when someone shares that they’re interested in having a threesome. Your partner might worry that you want to have a threesome because you’re not attracted to them anymore, or you’re bored with your sex life, or you’re interested in someone else. You can assuage these fears by letting your partner know what sounds sexy about having a threesome with them in particular. Make it clear that your partner is the most important person in the triad—not the third person.

Make Sure You Both Want It

If your partner says “yes” to a threesome, it’s important to make sure that they’re being honest. This is especially crucial if your relationship is monogamous. I can’t tell you how many couples I’ve worked with where one partner agreed to a threesome, but didn’t actually want it. Your partner may worry that you’ll end the relationship if you don’t get to have a threesome. Or they may be going into self-sacrificing mode, and putting your needs before their own. Threesomes can be disastrous if one partner is just doing it for the other. Give yourselves at least a few weeks to make a decision, and check in with your partner a few times to make sure it’s what they want. Let them know it’s not a deal-breaker for you. (Unless it is—but that’s another article.)

Get Clear on Your Boundaries

If you’re both on board with the idea of trying a threesome, the next step is to talk about the specifics of what you want to do. In particular, what guidelines or boundaries do you want to have in place? Do you want any specific boundaries for your very first threesome? Which platform you will use, threesome app, websites, forums or social media? For example, maybe you want to ease into things by just kissing and fondling. Here are some possibilities to think about:

  • What specific sexual activities do you feel comfortable doing with a third person?
  • What specific sexual activities are off the table? Maybe you’re comfortable with intercourse, but you don’t want kissing.
  • Are the rules different for each partner?
  • What happens if one of you gets jealous or uncomfortable in the middle of the threesome?
  • What do you want the third person to do after the threesome?
  • Are you open to repeat performances with the same person?

A lot of my clients complain that this step is boring and takes the fun out of the fantasy. But if you care about your relationship, it’s so important to be clear on your comfort levels. This is where a lot of threesome fantasies fall apart. If you can’t agree on the boundaries that will make you both feel comfortable, you probably shouldn’t move forward with trying to have a threesome.

Fantasize Together About It First

Once you know exactly what’s on and off the table, I highly recommend spending some time dirty talking about a potential threesome first. When you guys are getting down, talk about what it would be like to have a third person there. Go through potential scenarios with each other. Not only is this really hot, but it also serves as a final gut check to make sure you feel comfortable moving forward.

Put Out Feelers

Next up is one of the most frustrating steps of setting up a threesome—finding your third person. They’re not called “unicorns” for nothing. Not only do you have to find someone who’s attractive to both of you, they also have to be attracted to you in return and excited about the specific boundaries that you have. It’s a tall order.

Dating apps are your friend here. Put up a picture of the two of you, and be upfront about the fact that you’re looking for someone to hook up with together. Don’t try to lure someone in with a solo profile, then spring the threesome idea on them later.

Communicate Your Boundaries

I also highly recommend meeting potential thirds beforehand, so you can all scope each other out and make sure you feel good proceeding. Meet somewhere for a drink and a discussion of what you’re looking for.

I think it’s best to convey your boundaries to the third person before the three of you are naked. It might feel more intimidating initially, but it will ensure a better experience for all of you. Make sure to ask the third person about their comfort levels and guidelines too. Remember that they’re a human being with their own need and boundaries. They’re not just a plaything for you and your partner.

Take Your Time

When you’re excited about the prospect of a threesome, it’s easy to want to make it happen as quickly as possible. But there are so many ways a threesome can go wrong. It’s best to take your time, and proceed with care. Your thoughtfulness will pay off in the end.

Originally publish here: https://lifehacker.com/how-to-set-up-a-threesome-1824147809

Confessions of a swinger: Bisexual woman reveals all about her kinky sex life

The bisexual woman confessed that she was inundated with kinky offers as soon as she began exploring her fantasies.

After romping with a number of couples, she realised that she was just as attracted to women as men.

But is there a downside to promiscuity?

Here are Marie’s most eye-opening observations about 

swingingGETTY

PILLOW TAK: A Cardiff-based woman (not pictured) has opened up about her kinky love life

The Cardiff-based woman revealed that she was immediately hooked on 

Just weeks after joining a dating app, she met up with an engaged couple.

While she was initially nervous about taking the plunge, Marie’s meeting went a lot better than expected.

The threesome helped her realise her attraction to women and encouraged her to be more open with her sex life.

Killing Kittens: Swingers parties for the world’s sexual elite

 Marie told WalesOnline: “I met them in a bar in Cardiff for drinks. They had booked a hotel room for the night and driven over, specifically for this.
“I don’t think people realise how much pressure that adds – they have booked a hotel on the expectation that they are going to get something out of you…

“We ended up having a couple of glasses of wine and they asked if I wanted to go back with them and I was like ‘Yeah, great’.

“I slept with both of them, one at a time and then together. I really enjoyed it, I fancied both of them.

Marie went on to meet another couple on holiday, who travelled to visit her from America.
After a boozy night on the town, the swinger went back to their hotel to enjoy a steamy night with them.

To this day, she is still in touch with her US friends, who she sends naked pictures to every Christmas.

While most of Marie’s encounters have been fun, casual sex doesn’t always go to plan.

The swinger revealed that some find it difficult to start swinging.

She recalled one couple who travelled 190 miles to visit her in Cardiff.

Marie said: “(It was a) dreadful experience.

“They were a bit hostile to each other and they were having little digs at each other.

“She kept making sly comments at him when he was having sex with me that made me feel really uncomfortable – so I left.

“They seemed quite disappointed. I couldn’t believe they were surprised.”

The more original content here: https://www.dailystar.co.uk/real-life/710355/confessions-of-a-swinger-swinging-apps-uk-threesome