Coming Out Bisexual On The Real World

real worldWhen I heard that the 23rd season of MTV’s The Real World was going to take place in my hometown of Washington DC, and was going to feature two out bisexuals, I had to tune in. The show has turned out to be quite interesting. The two bisexual characters are Emily Schromm, who is 21, and Mike Manning, who is 22. Both are newly out; Emily was raised strictly religious just had her first relationship with a woman; Mike was raised very religious as well and is struggling to reconcile his faith with his sexuality, and just came out and started exploring his sexuality right before he came to DC. He came out to his housemates at dinner in the first episode, and they all seemed okay with it. He said that while he doesn’t like labels overall, he would label himself as bisexual, and has dated both men and women.

Several articles were written about both characters on BLGT blogs around the time the show premiered last December, and most were positive. Yet only one episode had aired—and already the sirens were off in the form of pages of comments saying “he’s not really bi, he’s gay, there’s no such thing as bi in men”—going on and on about the “bi now, gay later” stereotype, and quoting that ridiculous and disproven J. Michael Bailey study (how many times does a study have to be discredited before it gets through to some people)?! The absolute worst ones were here and here.  Men from both the gay and the straight communities weighed in. It was nice to see that there were several comments defending Mike, more so than the last time a bisexual man came out, so that is progress, but unfortunately the negative ones outweighed the positive ones. It is truly amazing how many people want to decide someone else’s sexuality for them, including sadly, some of Mike and Emily’s roommates who think he’s  ”just confused and is really gay” and tell her that “it’s okay if you are a lesbian”.

As much as I didn’t like the overflow of comments, there is actually progress. Much less has been said overall questioning Emily’s sexual identity, at least in the BLGT community—and I do remember a time when that was different, so it seems there is definitely a positive trend a somewhat growing acceptance for female bisexuality, though possibly not always for the reasons we would like. But it seems male bisexuality is one of the last and biggest barriers to more acceptance of bisexuals in general. What are some of the reasons for this? Let’s examine them through the adventures of Mike Manning on The Real World, and through some of the stereotypes that showed up over and over in the comments about him.

For starters there was the whole “I knew a bisexual man and he turned out to be gay”. Well, so he did. I stated in this article my opinion on what label people who are unsure when they come out should use. The actions of a few people who use the wrong label or really do go through a phase should not be used to label an entire community. I’ve actually seen a lot of the opposite: several bi men who do not want to use the bisexual label because of the negative connotation. Secondly, there was the whole “he doesn’t want to fully come out and wants to hold on to hetero-privilege”. Well, Mike Manning is totally out to his family, and came out again on national television no less. Being from a religious family myself, I can tell you that being bisexual isn’t any easier than being gay-neither one is considered good. Just ask Emily—her own sister rejected her after she came out to her on live TV. As for the hetero-privilege myth, this is my answer to that one.

A rather odd argument was that Mike has used the terms  gay  and  bi  interchangeably a few times, so that proves he is gay. I know very few bisexual and transgender people who don’t sometimes do that.  Gay has become a catchall term for BLGT, and since most of society doesn’t treat bisexuals very differently from gays, many of us feel comfortable interchanging the two sometimes.

Another argument was that rumors have said that overall by the end of the show, he had dated more guys than girls.  In the first two episodes, he made out with a girl and a guy. Why is anyone surprised by this? He just came out! He’s been suppressing the side of him that is attracted to men for years, and all those years he’s been able to act on his feelings for women, so naturally he’s going to want to explore the male attractions. When I first came out as bi, I was mainly into women for months. I’d had a 14 year head start on my attraction to men and had barely acted on my attraction to women-I wanted to make up for lost time. Once I got used to the idea of being out, I evened out. I’ve had several other bisexual people tell me they went through something similar, and I suspect that is what Mike went through. This really was not only the first time he was really out, but the first time he had access to a thriving gay community. I would have been surprised if he hadn’t chosen to explore it.

Also, Mike could “lean” more toward men, as being bisexual certainly doesn’t have to mean having a “50/50″ attraction (in fact most of us lean one way or the other).  But if he’s still attracted to both sexes-then he’s bi!  (See latest update below to learn more about this, apparently there was “creative editing” going on). Does someone’s “bi card” get revoked because their attractions aren’t always equal? Many people seem to think a “true bisexual” has to be 50/50. Most of us actually tend to lean one way or the other.

People have come up with other terms to describe which way they lean, such as “bi gay”, “bi straight”, “bi queer”, “homoflexible” and “heteroflexible”. While I don’t like to tell anyone how to label themselves, I do think people need to be less afraid to just use the term “bisexual” somewhere in their label. Words can be very powerful.  When the girl he kissed on the show (and apparently slept with behind the scenes) saw him kissing a guy, she was all grossed out and couldn’t believe she had been with a bi guy. I’m pretty sure that reactions like that from women are another reason male bisexuality isn’t popular—who wants to hear that?

Just recently Mike Manning himself gave two great interviews— one in Metro Weekly , the other in Realitywanted —both definite must reads, and most of the comments were positive!  Contrary to the rumors that he no longer identified as bisexual, he embraces the label (as much as someone who doesn’t like labels can), and talks about the biphobia in the gay community that he’s had to deal with. He also says that once guys he dates actually get to know him, they start to believe he really is bi. Personally I say thank you to Mike Manning for not bowing to pressure, for being true to who he is, and for openly embracing the label.

Emily Schromm recently gave a great interview as well to the website AfterEllen, telling us a bit more about her and her background, and about how while her bisexuality was acknowledged on the show, it was downplayed as far as showing who she dated while on the show and living in the Real World DC house.  She embraced the label as well and I’m proud of her for not caving to pressure either.  My hope is that as more bisexual men like Mike Manning and bisexual women like Emily Schromm come out, more people in both the straight and BLGT communities will take the time to get to know them and try and see them for who they really are—not who they think they should be.

Latest Update as of March 2010:  It turns out that both Mike and Emily’s hookups with women were edited out of the show, but both are talked out in this aftershow video and this interview. Both were made to appear to be mostly attracted to men. Why was it done this way?  Maybe for ratings?  I’d like to hope it’s not due to biphobia, but I really have to wonder.

Isolation, Health, And The Bisexual Community

Isolation_StreetAt the beginning of June, a study came out about the health differences of BLGT people versus straight people. When I heard about it I figured it would show something similar to what previous studies with the same idea have shown: that overall BLGT people have worse health, more depression and higher suicide rates than straight people. Considering the hurdles so many have to face, such results are unfortunately not surprising.

However, this study was different in two ways: first, its sample was from one entire state, Massachusetts, and second, a major difference was noticed and pointed out about bisexuals and how they compare to both straight people and gay and lesbian people. The ultimate finding: bisexuals, especially bisexual women, have the worst health of all of the groups that were studied.

This quote sums up some of the more alarming findings: “Compared to heterosexuals, gays, lesbians, and bisexuals were more likely to say their health was worse on 16 of 22 measures. They were more likely to be tense or worried, to smoke, have asthma, abuse drugs, or be victims of sexual abuse. Bisexual men and women were also more likely than heterosexuals to say they faced barriers to getting health care, had higher cardiovascular risk, felt sad, and had contemplated suicide in the past year. Binge drinking was more common among bisexual women than heterosexuals. Bisexuals, but not gays or lesbians, were more likely than heterosexuals to be poor. Bisexual women were the most likely to report having been sexually assaulted. ‘All told, bisexual women had the worst health,’ Conron [the scientist who did the study] said in an interview. ‘We were surprised that there were such differences for bisexual people compared to gay and lesbian people.’ Although the study didn’t investigate the causes for the gaps among people with different sexual orientations, Conron said she hopes further research will look at the social stigma bisexual people may face not only from heterosexuals, but also from gay men and lesbians. ‘Bisexual people may feel in between the two and may not necessarily be fully accepted by either group,’ she said. ‘I think it merits further investigation. We know isolation is bad for health.’ ”

I have to admit, it was nice to see the researcher of a study come right out and admit that isolation is a big problem for many bisexuals instead of trying to make the usual excuses. Of course, this is not good news. But as much as I hate to say it, is it really surprising? Bisexuals face some of the worst ostracism of any sexual minority group. Often we are rejected by the straight world, and contrary to popular belief, this can happen even if we are in an opposite-gender relationship if we admit to being bisexual. We start to hope there is an accepting community out there for us, and hearing the letters BLGT gives us hope.

However, too often, we face ridicule, exclusion, and social pressure, as well as being told we don’t exist, and being blatantly made fun of in some cases. Who wouldn’t have issues when their existence in constantly questioned? The very first comment under the article that totally misses the point of it illustrates how far we still have to go: “They may have the poorest health, but they get to play for both teams. So they have their perks.”

So, what can we in the bisexual community do about this? Fighting for acceptance is the first step, and not backing down about it. If we are excluded from something, we should do what the transgender community does (and possibly team up with them!) and have our own version of the event. We also need to reach out to newly out bisexuals or people who may be about to come out as bisexual; they need to know that there is a community that supports them. Secondly, there need to be health programs specifically aimed at bisexuals to help us deal with our unique set of problems, something other than just lumping us in with “BLGT.”

I’ve read that more health programs aimed at bisexuals are popping at BLGT centers, so that is a good place to start. Bisexual organizations need to strongly encourage such programs. Thirdly, there need to be more studies like this one done that take the unique experiences of bisexuals into account; hopefully more such studies will lead to a dialogue between the straight, bisexual, and gay and lesbian communities. I hope this study and others like it will get peoples’ attention and eventually lead to some gains, understanding, and acceptance for the bisexual community.

Someone Thinks Bisexuals Are Lying-Again

biRecently for me there’s been some good news and some bad news; the good news is I haven’t run out of or had to look far for topics to write about for several weeks now.  The bad news is it’s because there’s been so much biphobia going around I’ve been kept busy answering it all!  The culprit this time is a site I honestly thought was more open minded; BiPeopleMeet.com.  Having not only used the site myself but having had several friends on it, I’ve always found it to be a welcoming place for bisexuals, as well as for BLGT people and straight people.

So imagine my surprise when a couple of weeks ago this page began circulating on the internet: The Big Lies People Tell In Online Dating.  About halfway down the page, the fourth “lie” said this: “‘I’m bisexual.’ REALITY: 80 percent of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender. BiPeopleMeet is a gay- and bi-friendly place and it’s not our intention here to call into question anyone’s sexual identity. But when we looked into messaging trends by sexuality, we were very surprised at what we found. People who describe themselves as bisexual overwhelmingly message either one sex or the other, not both as you might expect.” If you want to see just this itself without the other “lies” expanded out, check out this page by Raspberry mousse: BiPeopleMeet believes that bisexuality is one of online dating’s “biggest lies.”

It seems that bi people meet tries to say it’s not trying to question sexual identity, and then proceeds to do just that.  Nowhere in the “argument” is there even a hint as to other reasons why these so called “trends” might be true (one obvious reason is that men tend to message back much more than women on any dating site, so it makes sense one gender would message more, and there are many other reasons as well) or try to look at this in any way besides implying that the people who say they are bisexual on the site must mostly be lying.  What’s also sad is that when I posted this, even some so called “allies” tried to say it wasn’t that big a deal, that it was just “data”.  I asked if it would be just “data” if the same thing was posted about black people or gay people; for some odd reason I didn’t get a response.  Of course it wouldn’t be; it only seems to be acceptable when it’s about bisexuals.

So, what is the best reaction?  Some people have chosen to boycott Okcupid.  I thought about it at first, but others from the bisexual community thought it would be best to use this as a reason to start a dialogue; and several have written emails to Bi People Meet, as did I.  In my opinion that is the best way to deal with something like this; to write polite but firm emails explaining why such posts are unacceptable when they negate the existence of an entire group.  One way is to use the comments section at the bottom of the “lies” page on Bi People Meet; from what I understand they do actually read their comments.  Another way is on the main site, in the lower right corner; there is an “about us” section that will lead you to the contact page.

One good thing that has come out of all the biphobia in recent weeks: I’ve seen the bisexual community more united than I’ve ever seen it before.  Biphobia is quickly recognized and responses are swift; and there is more and more dialogue between different parts of the community. I sincerely hope that all of this adversity will help us to step up, unite, and find our voices.  Let the dawn of our awakening begin.

Yoga for Bisexuals

yogaStop.  Take a breath, exhale through your mouth.  Do that again deepening your inhale and exhale.  Now do it a third time deepening your breath even more.  Raise your shoulders up, then bring them down and back.  Do that one again too.  Now close your eyes for a few moments and take in the sensation.

Feel better?  Good, I thought you might

There are many ways to approach yoga.  One view I embrace is of yoga as a method for integrating the mind, emotions and physical body.  I try to use it as a way to remain centered and peaceful, even in the midst of chaos and upheaval.  In fact, my favorite version of The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali translates the second sutra as, “Yoga is the settling of the mind into silence.”

Silence.  Peace.  Centeredness.  Integration.  How in the world do we move towards those states?

There are certainly enough things that can throw us off balance. First of all there are the multiple problems faced by the BLGT community as a whole.  Check out of the news on any given day; biphobia and homophobia are rearing their rather ugly heads with what seems like the wildest of abandon.  From “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” to being denied the opportunity to attend a prom, the situation is tense and surreal.

Of course, there are those issues that bisexuals face in particular: denial of bisexuality and invisibility.  The demon of dichotomous thinking strikes again.

Ah, but wait.  The asanas–or postures–of yoga are there for building more than just physical strength and flexibility.  They also help us cultivate stamina and flexibility for dealing with what life hands us.

For example forward folding has been a real issue for me.  Every time I get on the mat, I have to work various ways to come deeper into any position that requires bending.  After years of practice, I’m a farther along than I was when I started.

So it is with bisexuality.  I’ve found I have to contemplate what it means for me in various ways, coming at it from different angles.  I’ve had to look at how I deal with relationships with women and men and with how I approach the various kinds of intimacy with each.  Years later, I’m a little farther along than when I embarked on the adventure.

Yoga isn’t easy either.  I have a friend who is fond of reminding her classes that, “Yoga is not a pleasure cruise.”  It is work that takes discipline to accomplish.  I’ve lost count of the days when I haven’t wanted to step onto my mat.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen out of poses like my major tumble from handstand a couple of weeks ago.  After I go my breath back, I tried going upside again.  I keep at it anyway and feel better for it at the end.

It’s the same again bisexuality.  How many times have any of us had to deal with a question about what bisexuality is?  How many times have we been told that we have “to choose one or the other”?  How many times have we had to explain how biphobia hurts?  These are all things we clearly don’t want to do yet we do them anyway, even those times when we aren’t particularly articulate or when we know that what we say makes no difference.   Nonetheless I know that I feel better for having spoken up and I hope you do to.

Silence.  Peace.  Centeredness.  Integration.  We arrive at them when we fully accept who and what we are.  We arrive at them with work and discipline, with failure and carrying on.  We arrive at them as bi folk when we understand and accept that bisexuality is beautiful thing.  In fact I tend to see bisexuality itself as a form of integration, a way to unite and express all the ways we can love our fellow human beings.  For this, I feel gratitude.

Stamping out Biphobia One ‘Bi Rant’ Article at a Time

female-gay-couplesChicago—Living in Chicago, seeing division is an everyday life occurrence. If you are straight, you only go to straight bars or events. If you’re gay, you only go to gay bars and events. If you’re lesbian, you only go to women only bars and events, and if you’re a gay or lesbian, bisexual or transgender, who happens to be of color—you might only go to a place that has people of color at the event.

Round-and-around, we continue to want to separate ourselves to people like us—but is it a good thing? That’s a debate the BLGT community is starting to have. From black bisexual baseball players that just want to eh, play some ball. To bisexuals on the internet; speaking out on fitting into the gay and lesbian community, or not—and to the ‘new bisexual’ topics cropping up all over gay and lesbian publications? What’s going on that our own community is attacking the bisexual community who want to be seen, like everyone else?

What is the New Bisexual?
After just having a radio show talking about baseball and heckling the President of the United States, I wanted to relax at my favorite local restaurant (Heartland Café) and read the current BLGT publication of Chicago Free Press (CFP). As I often do, I like to check out what’s happening in our community, see if there’s any bisexual article, which mostly is far and few between, but low and behold there’s one called “The new bisexuals,” by my not to favorite opinion columnist Jennifer Vanasco. Every time I read anything dealing with bisexuality from her, she goes on topic of “bar bisexual,” or anything of that area when speaking to lesbians—about what it means to be a true bisexual, if at all

I wonder if those self-identifying girls call themselves bisexual because they’re actually attracted to women or because they think it’s sexier—and cooler—to calling  themselves bisexual and occasionally kiss girls for show.

What Does Biphobia Look Like?
This is straight from “Bisexual Resources Center, a great bisexual activist non-profit telling it like it is.

…”Thinking that people identify as bisexual because it ‘trendy.”

Now, the funny thing is is that this article was supposedly trying to get lesbians to see our point-of-view. Well, at the end of it, I found what Vanasco was trying to say, right at the last paragraph.

But what I do know is that: The LGBT community hasn’t always been great about welcoming and reaching out to and understanding supporting bisexuals. But if we want this flood of young women to support us, this has got to change. — Jennifer Vanasco

See my point? Vanasco doesn’t even understand that this very article is biphobic in the worse way. New bisexuals are just being “trendy. ’It talks all about ‘new bisexuals’ as if they are cropping out from the ground and becoming band new babies the BLGT community can love and take into the fold. You know, I now see you, that you might be real, just oh, a bit misguided and need help from the gay and lesbian community to set you on the right path. What the Fuck!

Vanasco listen. Because you go on trying to bridge gaps about what a new bisexuals really is or isn’t needs to be done in a better way. Why not contact one and get their perspective. Hey, use our Contact Us form above and interview Bi Social Network; we’re been around for over a year now. I welcome it! Ask for Adrienne Williams. Because right now, from the bisexuality perspective, there isn’t any new bisexual, you are now just looking at all the real facets of our community.

What Bi Social Network Wants to do!
As a social community site, we want to hear from you! Speak your mind and give use tips, if you see an article on the internet or in print where biphobic is loud and clear! We will feature it here! You can contact us, or go to our facebook account @bisocialnetwork or tweet us @bisocialnetwork! We want to know what you are seeing out there too!

To learn more about Bisexual Resource Center, check out their website for more tips on what biphobia really looks like! You’re might be surprised! www.biresource.org.

Bisexual Ball Players Sues Gay Sports League of Biphobia

ball-playerI’m in the middle of our Bi Talk show and I’m handed information in the form on an email on Advocate.com, about three bisexual ex-players (LaRon Charles, Steven Apilado and Jon Russ) who are suing the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Association (NAGAAA) on the bases of not being gay [enough] from the other gay teams; or as they (The league) called them—three heterosexual men.

The sad thing is that the three men repeatedly stated they were ‘bisexual and not straight.’ When asked by (NAGAAA) officials, what sexual group they batted for, one player stated, “Both.” The victim decided not to reply after an off-putting response from NAGAAA.

“This is the Gay World Series, not the Bisexual World Series.” North American Gay Amateur Athletic Association (NAGAAA) officials

Should Bisexuals Continue to Partner with Gays and Lesbian groups?
Talk about biphobia on the home team! So now, I again ask this question, should the bisexual community be apart of the gay and lesbian groups—who continue to want equal rights from the straight world, but will not recognize that bisexuals are real and alive in all society? Nor do they even understand the errors of calling bisexual men straight, as heated discussions are flying on Advocate.com, about being straight and not apart of the BLGT community.

Lindasusan states on Advocate.com:

Why do people keep characterizing these men as straight when they identify as BISEXUAL? (The heterosexual label was put on them by the NAGAAA panel.) As someone pointed out, NAGAAA’s own mission statement includes bisexuals — this is clearly a case of biphobia and bisexual erasure.

I say this, as I take a quote from Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. I will fight for gay and equal rights for my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters to get married, when they own up to the fact that bisexuals know who we are and exist in their world!

So much for the LGBT tag line!

Bi Social Network will be following this story as it develops.

Read the full article on advocate.com

Share your thoughts. What do you think of this story? Should Bisexuals continue to be apart of the gay and lesbian community? Are we beating a dead horse? We want to know!

A Bisexual’s Dilemma: Who Can You Bring Home to Mother?

naked-truthAs the days lengthen and weather gets warmer I always start to remember my time in the Peace Corps.  Every year different memories will come wafting to the fore as I gladly anticipate the hotter weather to come in this country.

This year the first memory to come floating back was of a conversation I had with one of my mates as we went out to grab some supper to take back to the hostel/office.  As we stood on the corner with our plates in our hands waiting for the neighborhood women to put their wares out, I brought up the topic of my dating both men and women.

How or why I started talking about it on that dusty street as night began to fall is no longer clear.  What I do remember clearly as we waited to be served was that my dinner companion quite pointedly asked if I felt as free to bring my boyfriends home as I was my girlfriends.

The answer was a resounding, “no.”  I was a bit taken aback, not offended mind you.  It was just my friend the philosopher had asked perhaps one of the most pertinent questions I had ever been asked.  Whatever differences or similarities I found between women and men, I knew full well which of the two I could bring home to meet mother.

When you’re bisexual, that’s an issue because it can lead to a double life and a great deal of internal strife.  I longed to be able to share all of my romantic life with my family but I didn’t feel that I was able to.  No matter how I examined the situation, I always felt that my family had half the story.  In fact they did.  They got the edited version of my life.

Imagine Anna Karenina with only the story of Anna and Vronsky and the one with Kitty and Levin cut out.  It would without a doubt not be the same novel.  Yes, it would be much shorter but also much poorer.  We could not gather the same lessons because we would be missing a critical piece of the whole.

In other words I was suppressing a critical piece of my whole and it was utterly maddening.  How many bisexual men have been in this situation?  When we do this are we really living a double life or half of one?  If we give our girlfriends the “full treatment,” what in earth are we doing to our boyfriends?

Of course biphobia and homophobia sometimes oblige us to keep our mouths shut.  There are, however, limits.  To quote Abraham Lincoln, a house divided against itself cannot stand.  What the then Senate candidate said in reference to politics certainly makes sense to me in terms of psychology.  Living one kind of life with a female partner and another with a male partner makes no sense whatsoever.  There comes a time when we have to speak up and be clear about who we are in order to keep our sanity and to be respectful to all our partners.

So when my 40th birthday rolled around and I was actually in a relationship, I took advantage of the fact my partner was male to be clear with my family that he would be there to celebrate as well.  It wasn’t easy more me to do and probably less easy for my family to absorb.  Nonetheless, I did what needed to be done and my family came through for me.

I have felt a greater sense of wholeness now that I don’t have to do an editing job for those I care about.  Now if on some hot dusty road someone asked me whether I felt as free to bring my boyfriends home as my girlfriends, the answer would be a firm “yes.”

The Difficult House of Joy

What grounds you?  What keeps you rooted and centered?  What is that place of strength from which you move outward?

omosessualiThis was actually asked of me and my mat mates this past Saturday at the beginning of a yoga class.  What came to my mind first was my love of men, my capacity to love other men fully and intimately.

This is so because my love for men has been hard won and therefore something I value all the more.  I’ve had to work on it intensely because while society will always support relationships between women and men, however difficult they may be, it will often try to undermine intimate relationships between men.

In addition, if you are a man who loves other men you have to work on accepting yourself first.  This means not only dealing with the bi- and homophobia that exist outside you but with the bi- and homophobia on the inside.  We all know what a battle that is.  We also know how much harder that makes building a relationship between two men.

Add to that the ludicrous fantasy of what men are supposed to be: unemotional, self-contained, wealthy, aggressive, full of swagger, in charge.  And remember this craziness affects both of you.

Could there be any more roadblocks to two men getting together?

What I have learned from my relationships with men is that it eventually dawns on you that neither you nor the fellow on the other side of the bed can live up to the standards the two of you have been indoctrinated both to adhere to and expect.  You have to work past them into new ways of being together.

If you don’t know them, you have to learn dialog, compassion and cooperation.  You also have to learn to see someone as he really is, with all his faults and virtues.

In the end money, power and prestige can’t buy you love.  Being emotionally unavailable is antithetical to relationships.  And no one wants to be pushed around by a tough guy.  Besides, Prince Charming is a narcissist.

Eventually you have to learn to talk it out, work together and accept that you can either build a life with someone who helps to pay the bills or someone who spends all day in the gym working on six-pack abs.

In other words building a relationship between two men requires consciousness, dedication and effort above and beyond what opposite-sex couples have to put in.

For me this is what the late poet Paul Monette means when he writes in “Committing to Memory,” “No point/in having so much rope unless you can/tie a knot.  It has to hold.”  And that which holds will keep you grounded in what at the end of the same stanza Monette refers to as “the difficult house of joy.”

BSN Celebrates Bisexual Day: Move into Activism

happy-bi-daySeptember 23rd is Bisexual Day? What are your plans to celebrate — and how can you move into activism?

As a new and upcoming bisexual site, I’m so happy to say that “we’ve come a long way baby!” Our goal has been clear from the start. Try to expose bi news more to the main stream—including lesbian and gay Web sites. We are happy that this day is a national event!

The History of Bi Day, was it Really Needed?

The account of “Bisexual Day” started back in 1999—by three bisexual rights activists named Wendy Curry, Michael Page, and Gigi Raven Wilbur. In a quote on Wikipedia, Wilbur was stated,

Ever since the Stonewall rebellion, the gay and lesbian community has grown in strength and visibility. The bisexual community also has grown in strength but in many ways we are still invisible. I too have been conditioned by society to automatically label a couple walking hand in hand as either straight or gay, depending upon the perceived gender of each person.

Bi Social News (BSN) whole-heartedly believes this declaration. Our whole mission and why we started BSN was to take back our voice—clearly without fear and continued labels to diminish our voice in the gay and straight communities.

When even one bisexual can’t say the word, it decreases our voice and stops our power, to be exactly who we are—bisexuals.

BSN mission is clear—we won’t run from it, dilute it, and cover over it, under and around it. We won’t escape from it—change the meaning of it and appease it! This is our day—my day! Seize the moment to stand up and be counted in the land of every person, race, nationality, sex and gender that goes boldly into the night proudly on their particular belief—are you?

This is the moment to speak up regardless of what team your family or friends are batting. This is the time for every teen to come to terms that they are neither gay nor straight—and are still proud to be apart of the full community. This is the time to speak out to every BLGT community that “will not” show more visibility for the “B” in LGBT! This is the time to raise your voice when others in “our” community speak against the bisexual boy, teen or man who has not come out as gay—thinking there are no real bisexual men! This is time to speak out—without fear that it’s not a “phase” or you are not trying to be cool. This is a time to speak out for the nullification of bisexual erasure in all communities. One voice, clearly, loudly and without fear—I’m bisexual!

Why Does BSN Exist?
BSN feels that there needs to be more representation regarding the bisexual community. BSN feels that many are demising their voices; because of fear of the term “Bisexual or Bi” due to the unfavorable connotation that it brings any given individual. We are proud to be associated with the term and will use it without fail to state the nature of our voice. Though, we welcome all—regarding content and news worthy stories—this site is a bisexual site, and we are so proud of this fact, and glad to be apart of the full spectrum of our community.

Your voice is our voice; your cause is our cause. “Speak out. Live out. Voice out. Be heard.”