The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe

guideWhenever I visit my local book store (which is often), I always peruse the gay and lesbian section. While there, I am looking for one thing — books on bisexuality. I am nearly always disappointed. Leaving aside the fact that I am rarely able to find anything other than gay or lesbian erotica; the books that are available fall into one of three basic categories (not counting the aforementioned erotica):

1. Tragedy (see Prayers for Bobby by Leroy Aarons)
2. Gay (see The Greeks and Greek Love by James Davidson)
3. Lesbian (see Lesbian Couples: A Guide to Creating Healthy Relationships by D. Merilee Clunis)

There are a great number of titles available, but it seems that they all can be categorized into these areas. It is rare to find a book that deals exclusively in bisexuality; which leaves bisexual men reading books about being gay and bisexual women reading books about being a lesbian, almost exclusively; contributing to the confusion of bisexuality as a valid orientation. On my most recent trip to the bookstore, I was pleasantly surprised.

The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe, by Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski is a poignant, researched and fun look at the “invisible orientation” of bisexuality. The book offers the reader (who should be bisexual) a journey on the path of bisexuality, breaking it into three parts. Part One: Beginner, seems to be all about coming to terms with being bisexual. Chapter One: The B-Word – starts the journey by referencing the “flip-flop” that we all know so well. That period of time in our lives when our families believe that we’re straight and our friends have seen us flirting and have labeled us as gay. It goes on to define bisexuality, both by its dictionary definition (pointing out the absurdity of the hermaphroditic and botanist connotations) and the etymology of the word. It turns out that bisexual was added to the dictionary in 1892, while the abbreviation “bi” was coined in 1956. Chapter 2: Measuring Sex continues on the beginner’s journey to discover who they are – bi, gay or straight. The Kinsey Scale and research of the Kinsey Institute reveals that 13% of women and 37% of men achieve orgasm with a partner of the same sex. The Klein Grid (expanding on Kinsey’s research) makes things more detailed by breaking things down to seven elements of sexuality. Antonio Galarza has developed the “Three Circle Graph” which shows 70-80% of men to be bisexual.

Part Two: Intermediate, recounts what it’s like to be bisexual. Chapter Four: Two Closets opens with a step by step “how to” for coming out. “Coming Out Without Coming Out”; this guide shows the method of creating an air of mystery around your sexuality. Never fully explaining who you’re interested in, feeling that your sexual orientation isn’t really anyone’s business; refusing to label it for even those that ask point blankly. “Coming Out to Your Conservative Mom” suggests using television to your advantage, appealing to things your mother already knows and likes and then pointing out that they’re gay. “Coming Out to Your Hippie Mom” offers a humorous how to, suggesting any time any place and cautions the reader of learning too much about their mother’s past. “Coming Out to Your Radical-Right Dad” this how to is extreme in its recommendations of caution; saying “Do stand a safe distance when you utter any word or phrase containing sexual.” The guide does not limit the situation to parents, however. Providing additional advice and how-to’s for “Coming Out to Your Straight But Not Narrow Siblings” and “Coming Out to Your Curious Co-Workers.” Chapter Six: Doubling Your Chances opens with a quote from Woody Allen “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday Night.” This chapter tends to focus more on how to attract members of the same sex. Providing tips for both the guys and the gals; while also providing the transition into Part Three: Advanced.

The four chapters of part three cover sex and love for the bisexual person. Everything from getting laid to playing “bi” heart. When I closed the book, I fervently wished for two things. 1. That it wasn’t over. 2. That there were more books like it. To my utter delight, I was able to find more information from these wonderful authors as there is a companion website to the book, linking the blogs of the authors. As I said before, it is poignant, researched and humorous. It was a joy to read and it had the calming effect of letting me know that things really aren’t that bad if you’re bi. Something we may need reminded of occasionally.

Solidarity Forever

solidarityThe fight for equality exists on many fronts.  In addition to the struggles of all sexual minorities, the struggle certainly continues for racial, gender, environmental and economic justice, among others.  Since we are at Labor Day in the United States and I come from a very strong union background, I naturally spent a great deal of time of late thinking about being bisexual in the workplace and the connection between being bi and fight for workers’ rights.

Times are tough and we’re all living with the fallout of a 9.7% unemployment rate-16.8% if you’re paying attention to the unofficial figures.  In other words, many people are feeling mighty insecure at the moment.  In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many resumes come into my email, and in the education sector there are always a great number of people looking for positions, even in the so-called good years.  Consider also that Massachusetts where I live and work was not as badly hit as other states.

From the perspective of many, our economy is in shambles.  The poor seem to be getting poorer, the rich richer, and corporations with as much as they can.  Labor standards are dropping and workers are being asked to give up more and more.

Now, let’s take the present anxiety of the workplace and add to it the anxiety of being BGLT on top of it.  It sounds like a recipe of for a nervous breakdown, doesn’t it?  But wait, you say, what about anti-discrimination laws?  Well, only 21 states, the District of Columbia and some 140 cities and counties have any statutes prohibiting employment discrimination against BLGT folk.  There is also very little at the federal level.  This means that if you’re not heterosexual, your sexuality-and gender expression-can get you fired in most of the country.

Talk about perspective.  I feel very privileged to find myself in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.  Neither do I forget that education at the college-level is queer friendly on the whole.  However, not all BGLT people live in the Northeast and not even every BGLT person in the Northeast is a college educator.

I’m sure some of you reading this live and work in areas hard hit economically and/or without workplace protections.  Otherwise if you share my good fortune, can you imagine the terror?  And I use the word deliberately.  We often face enough harassment and violence for our sexuality, but to have our employment threatened for it is too much.  After all, we in the United States derive our identities from our work, and even more basic than that, we derive out very livelihoods from it.  No work can mean no place to sleep and no food to eat.  It’s as simple as that.

So, what can we do?  Well, if you are one of the many pounding the pavement looking for work, I wish you good luck and Godspeed.  The rest of us can get active.  There are plenty of ways to get involved in the fight for labor rights.  There are myriad organizations, but if you’re interested in groups that work for workplace and economic justice from a BGLT perspective, I suggest you take a look at Queers for Economic Justice, based out of New York, Pride at Work, and even Public Services International.

Workers, as is often said, are the backbone of the US.  Labor is what has built and made the nation great.  It’s a cliché, I know, but one I very much agree with.  On this Labor Day, I salute all workers in general and bisexual, lesbian, gay, pansexual, and transsexual workers in particular.  Let the holiday stand a reminder that we need stand up and be counted as part of the march for workers’ rights, which are after all our own.

Celebrate Bisexuality Day

bidayGet into the minds of our columnist, Peter as he shares his thoughts regarding this national day.

Celebrate Bisexuality Day is upon us once more and I’m thinking about what it is we have to celebrate.  OK, that sounded like a heavy dose of bitter with a side order of grumpy, so let me explain.  We seem to have a lot of days, festivals, parades and everything else in our society meant to highlight a certain subgroup, but besides perhaps having a soirée-and I’m all for having a good time-what is the net result of having had the day?  Are we as bisexuals underlining how we’re different from the rest of the pack?  I for one don’t need a day to point that out; I know that 365 days a year.  A little less standing out would be nice, actually.

I also don’t what you to think that I don’t own being a bisexual man.  If that were the case, I would not be writing this column.  Heaven only knows that we need more bisexual voices-especially those of bi men-out there to be heard and understood.  But more to the point, I am neither proud nor ashamed to be bi; I simply am bisexual.

So what’s the point?  What do we need [to] Celebrate Bisexuality Day for?  How about this: a day to contemplate what bisexuals bring to the table and what we offer to the larger society.

First of all, I believe we should be the representatives of the Beatles classic, “All You Need Is Love.”   Whether we happen to be monogamous, polyamorous, alternating, or Kinsey 0-6, we bisexuals represent the capacity to love and engage fully with other human beings in the most intimate and varied ways.  That’s a level of openness you don’t necessarily find.  It is both precious and vulnerable.  It means living honestly, which entails more than a few painful moments.

How many of us have had our hearts broken whether from a mismatch with a potential partner or from the proverbial barking up the wrong tree?  What happens when we find that we have more in common emotionally than romantically with someone else?   On top of this, there are some extra challenges for the bisexual male.  If you’re one of the “regular guys,” folks may not want to believe that you are also attracted to other men.  If you’re a man who’s gender atypical, folks often have a hard time believing you like women.  I have [a] friend, also [named] Peter, whom I like to quote on this subject; “I’m here, I’m queer and I like women too.  Get used to it!”   I couldn’t have put it better myself.

This leads nicely to my second point.  Bisexuality is an invitation to complexity.  There is no coloring in between the lines with bisexuality because there are no lines to color in between.  The world is open to us.  What matters here then is defining an ethical code of our own.  In other words, an invitation to complexity is an imperative to critical thinking and making reasoned choices.  Who can we approach?  Will that person—those people also be interested in us?  Is our attraction physical, emotional and/or intellectual?  How do we eventually come out to this person/these people?

For me being bi means always having to come out in order to be clear and honest.  That’s my ethical choice, one that involves great risk that the other will reject me in terms of a romantic relationship. If the people in our lives don’t know, then we as bisexuals have to come out—because our bisexuality will eventually make manifest.  Bisexuality exists as both potential and realization always, especially if you are monogamous.  Your involvement with a man doesn’t negate your attraction to women and vice versa.  Talk about complexity!

For the record, let me state that I don’t find lesbians, gay men and straight women to be hardhearted dolts.  I am saying that being bisexual is emotionally intense and intellectually demanding, because it requires constant engagement and evaluation as part of the package.  When we bisexuals live up to the challenge, we show healthy models for human relations and that’s what we should be aiming for.

BSN Celebrates Bisexual Day: Move into Activism

happy-bi-daySeptember 23rd is Bisexual Day? What are your plans to celebrate — and how can you move into activism?

As a new and upcoming bisexual site, I’m so happy to say that “we’ve come a long way baby!” Our goal has been clear from the start. Try to expose bi news more to the main stream—including lesbian and gay Web sites. We are happy that this day is a national event!

The History of Bi Day, was it Really Needed?

The account of “Bisexual Day” started back in 1999—by three bisexual rights activists named Wendy Curry, Michael Page, and Gigi Raven Wilbur. In a quote on Wikipedia, Wilbur was stated,

Ever since the Stonewall rebellion, the gay and lesbian community has grown in strength and visibility. The bisexual community also has grown in strength but in many ways we are still invisible. I too have been conditioned by society to automatically label a couple walking hand in hand as either straight or gay, depending upon the perceived gender of each person.

Bi Social News (BSN) whole-heartedly believes this declaration. Our whole mission and why we started BSN was to take back our voice—clearly without fear and continued labels to diminish our voice in the gay and straight communities.

When even one bisexual can’t say the word, it decreases our voice and stops our power, to be exactly who we are—bisexuals.

BSN mission is clear—we won’t run from it, dilute it, and cover over it, under and around it. We won’t escape from it—change the meaning of it and appease it! This is our day—my day! Seize the moment to stand up and be counted in the land of every person, race, nationality, sex and gender that goes boldly into the night proudly on their particular belief—are you?

This is the moment to speak up regardless of what team your family or friends are batting. This is the time for every teen to come to terms that they are neither gay nor straight—and are still proud to be apart of the full community. This is the time to speak out to every BLGT community that “will not” show more visibility for the “B” in LGBT! This is the time to raise your voice when others in “our” community speak against the bisexual boy, teen or man who has not come out as gay—thinking there are no real bisexual men! This is time to speak out—without fear that it’s not a “phase” or you are not trying to be cool. This is a time to speak out for the nullification of bisexual erasure in all communities. One voice, clearly, loudly and without fear—I’m bisexual!

Why Does BSN Exist?
BSN feels that there needs to be more representation regarding the bisexual community. BSN feels that many are demising their voices; because of fear of the term “Bisexual or Bi” due to the unfavorable connotation that it brings any given individual. We are proud to be associated with the term and will use it without fail to state the nature of our voice. Though, we welcome all—regarding content and news worthy stories—this site is a bisexual site, and we are so proud of this fact, and glad to be apart of the full spectrum of our community.

Your voice is our voice; your cause is our cause. “Speak out. Live out. Voice out. Be heard.”

Bisexuals Are Alive and Well and Living…Everywhere!

bisexual groupEmancipate yourselves from mental slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds. Bob Marley, “Redemption Song”

Ah, the end of the fiscal year brings many things with it, new budgets to create, records to unearth and reconcile, and vacations to take – lest the days be lost. So, I combined my time off with a whirlwind tour of the bisexual world Manhattan style.

My first stop on Thursday, May 29th, was the 21st Lambda Literary Awards. The awards were held in New York this year and I had been invited to be one of the four judges for the bisexual category. Having jumped at the opportunity, I wanted to see the capstone event of the award being handed out. I actually had the pleasure of sitting close – without knowing until the announcement – to the winner, Jenny Block, author of Open, a memoir about Block’s own open marriage. To me, the book reads as an elegant manifesto for both bisexuality and polyamory.

Friday, I took a day to enjoy other aspects of New York. On Saturday, I was part of the Putting the “B” in the LGBT Summit sponsored by the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center and the Bi Writers Association. Through Bi Writers, I was part of the organizing committee for the event that included a keynote address by Robyn Ochs, one of the foremost bi activists working today, and panels dealing with the myths that haunt the bi community, marriage, the military, working with the media, and being more inclusive of bisexuals.

The summit was capped off with dinner at a local restaurant and followed by Bi Lines II – also held at the Center – a celebration of bisexual artists and performers. Four of the finalists for the Lammy – including Block – read from their nominated books. There were other writers at the podium as well as scenes from a one-woman play and musical performances.

And yes for the record, I was co-host for the evening. Let’s just say this was a working vacation, and I have never been so pleased to spend my vacation time working – OK, I’ve never been pleased to spend my vacation time working, but this was a special case.

You see, I managed to reconnect with the larger bi community out there – in fact, to reconnect with the queer community. Since the event was in New York, my initial contributions to the effort were mainly through email and telephone. Once I got to New York, I was able to be present to and at events that brought queer folk together from around the US at a minimum. Present, though, were bi people of every age, color, marital status – including open and monogamous – not to mention bisexuals married to both same-sex partners and opposite-sex partners. Why, there was even a whole transgender contingent.

What I saw was our community – our beautiful bisexual community – together in all its variety. Now, this in only the third year a bisexual category has been present within the Lambda Literary Awards, only the second iteration of Bi Lines, and only the first summit on bi inclusion in the media. But, all of this shows how vibrant and alive our community is. To paraphrase Twain, rumors of our non-existence are greatly exaggerated.

We may be marginalized within the larger BLGT community, as author/speaker Keith Boykin put so well in his introduction to the bisexual and transgender Lammy awards, but we are alive and kicking. We have been and we remain an integral part of the fight for BLGT civil rights, even though the G, the L and even the T nowadays seem to get the most play. It doesn’t matter: We bisexuals are here, steady and sure.

And now dear readers to you: What are you doing to increase bi visibility and to declare for our community? What alliances are you building? What political action are you undertaking? What art are you creating? Speak out. Speak loud. Speak proud. We’re all in this together.

A Bisexual Space to Call Our Own

A Bisexual Club?

bisexual clubPeople have commented about the “bisexual community”, some praising how it has acted together to combat the latest round of biphobia, others wondering why there isn’t more of a community. I’ve wondered, what exactly constitutes the bisexual community, and how is it different from the gay, lesbian, and transgender community?

Since I’ve been out, I’ve read and researched this. Although I live in a pretty liberal area where I was welcomed into the larger BGLT community, I kept hearing about other bisexuals who were not so lucky in different parts of the country and world. I figured, “well, don’t they have a bisexual community to fall back on?” The answer, not always.

A large portion of the bisexual community seems to have started and still is online. I’ve read many articles that said that if [it] hadn’t been for the rise of the Internet in the 1990’s, it definitely would have been harder for bisexuals to organize, and I agree. If you are in a small town, and both gay and straight people tell you “it’s just you”, it can be pretty discouraging. But if you go on the Internet, in a very short while you’ll see that there are bisexual groups all over the world, and many Websites and organizations devoted to the cause.

The Internet has really helped us find groups and create a sense of community. However, we need more non-internet information.

In many big cities, including where I live, there are bisexual groups, and these tend to be very accepting and welcome most people. Groups like BiNet USA, and the New York Bisexual Network (I wish there was an “official” network for my city, all we have is one women’s group, though it’s a great group!) What I and others have noticed that both gays and straights have, that we seem to lack, are recreational places for us to hang out. Basically: bisexual bars-why aren’t there any? Where are the “bisexual sections of town” the way there are “gay sections?” A friend and I had a great discussion imagining how an ideal bisexual bar would be-all kinds couples dancing together, all kinds of people meeting and getting to know one another-no one getting a dirty look for being the “wrong” orientation or gender. I could bring both my straight and gay friends and no one would be “suspicious” because they were from the “other side” (I know it’s ridiculous, but I’ve encountered both scenarios). Of course pansexuals, transsexuals, intersex people, asexuals, and others would be welcomed too. So how come there hasn’t been an attempt to start one? Certainly there are gay and straight bars that are bi friendly, but how come we don’t have one of our own? We could call it a “bi/trans/pan” type place. I seriously think that if someone started this in a big city where there are a lot of us, it would become popular very quickly.

We also need more of a presence in pride parades  — I know this isn’t always easy, especially when encountering resistance. In New York, where there is a thriving bi network, a big section of it marches in the parade every year. It’s basically a numbers game — the more bisexual, pansexual, fluid people who are active in the movement, the more of a separate bi presence there is. Where I live, that doesn’t happen enough.

Our woman’s group has a booth at the pride street festival-but there aren’t enough of us who are active to have a separate marching block. That doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of us-there are many people who are active online but not active in non-online groups. I just found out that there’s supposed to be a “bi/fluid” pride march coming up in California in June! That’s great! I hope we have many more!

Transgender people have done a great job of taking their cause from just the internet to the real world. Often in pride parades you will see a separate block for transgender pride, even if there are only a few people in it, the same with BGLT conferences and pride seminars. They have gotten really good at making themselves visible and making their cause heard even when the larger BGLT movement tries to ignore them. Definitely something to emulate. So to make a long story short, I hope that more of us (who are able to safely be out) can take that energy and passion from the internet and spread it out as far as we can — making ourselves more visible, more heard, and more of a force to be reckoned with. I know we have the numbers — now we just need the voice and the organization. Who knows, maybe one day there will even be a bisexual bar. One can hope, anyway.

Bringing Back the ‘B’ in LGBT

Voice your opinion on changing up the “B” in LGBT to BLGT — Do you agree?

PrintAs we move forward with celebrating our bisexual selves, I begain to noticed that every year gay and lesbian media (print and online) change up the “L” for lesbian and “G” for gay, why? Do they feel they want to be top dog? Do they feel they are NOT being represented? Clearly, this is not the case, as there are hundreds upon hundreds of sites dedicated to gay and lesbian freedom – as it should – but some continue to not even mention bisexual or transgender on there very site, column or title.

We also have to come to grip, that all things are not equal in the land of rights for all in the LGBT community; in fact, I continuously try to find content regarding bisexual and transsexuals news – though transsexuals are getting more airtime of late – which we say “about time!”

This is why we have decided – being a bisexual and an activist, about all things bisexual — I’m a Bisexualist.  We are going to only use the coin phase for things LGBT to BTLG or BLGT. We have to understand this is needed to make a point, that we still have a long way to go regarding the separation of our community.

I live in Chicago and all too well, we see gays and lesbians not mixing, or sad to say white gays and black and Latino gays in different circles? Nani? (Japanese for What!) So, we at BSN are giving the bisexuals time on the top of the community! Google and Bing take note! We are now using BTLG for (Bisexual, Transsexual, Lesbian and Gay) content. We feel we must state this cause until more content is free flowing thought-out our community!

What are your thoughts on these issues? Will you come join us? We hope so! Do you think we are being to sensitive? Voice your opinion and comment on our site! We love positive and negative feedback, as long as it’s respectful.

A Bisexual Space to Call Our Own

bisexual clubA Bisexual Club?

People have commented about the “bisexual community”, some praising how it has acted together to combat the latest round of biphobia, others wondering why there isn’t more of a community. I’ve wondered, what exactly constitutes the bisexual community, and how is it different from the gay, lesbian, and transgender community?

Since I’ve been out, I’ve read and researched this. Although I live in a pretty liberal area where I was welcomed into the larger BGLT community, I kept hearing about other bisexuals who were not so lucky in different parts of the country and world. I figured, “well, don’t they have a bisexual community to fall back on?” The answer, not always.

A large portion of the bisexual community seems to have started and still is online. I’ve read many articles that said that if [it] hadn’t been for the rise of the Internet in the 1990’s, it definitely would have been harder for bisexuals to organize, and I agree. If you are in a small town, and both gay and straight people tell you “it’s just you”, it can be pretty discouraging. But if you go on the Internet, in a very short while you’ll see that there are bisexual groups all over the world, and many Websites and organizations devoted to the cause.

The Internet has really helped us find groups and create a sense of community. However, we need more non-internet information.

In many big cities, including where I live, there are bisexual groups, and these tend to be very accepting and welcome most people. Groups like BiNet USA, and the New York Bisexual Network (I wish there was an “official” network for my city, all we have is one women’s group, though it’s a great group!) What I and others have noticed that both gays and straights have, that we seem to lack, are recreational places for us to hang out. Basically: bisexual bars-why aren’t there any? Where are the “bisexual sections of town” the way there are “gay sections?” A friend and I had a great discussion imagining how an ideal bisexual bar would be-all kinds couples dancing together, all kinds of people meeting and getting to know one another-no one getting a dirty look for being the “wrong” orientation or gender. I could bring both my straight and gay friends and no one would be “suspicious” because they were from the “other side” (I know it’s ridiculous, but I’ve encountered both scenarios). Of course pansexuals, transsexuals, intersex people, asexuals, and others would be welcomed too. So how come there hasn’t been an attempt to start one? Certainly there are gay and straight bars that are bi friendly, but how come we don’t have one of our own? We could call it a “bi/trans/pan” type place. I seriously think that if someone started this in a big city where there are a lot of us, it would become popular very quickly.

We also need more of a presence in pride parades  — I know this isn’t always easy, especially when encountering resistance. In New York, where there is a thriving bi network, a big section of it marches in the parade every year. It’s basically a numbers game — the more bisexual, pansexual, fluid people who are active in the movement, the more of a separate bi presence there is. Where I live, that doesn’t happen enough.

Our woman’s group has a booth at the pride street festival-but there aren’t enough of us who are active to have a separate marching block. That doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of us-there are many people who are active online but not active in non-online groups. I just found out that there’s supposed to be a “bi/fluid” pride march coming up in California in June! That’s great! I hope we have many more!

Transgender people have done a great job of taking their cause from just the internet to the real world. Often in pride parades you will see a separate block for transgender pride, even if there are only a few people in it, the same with BGLT conferences and pride seminars. They have gotten really good at making themselves visible and making their cause heard even when the larger BGLT movement tries to ignore them. Definitely something to emulate. So to make a long story short, I hope that more of us (who are able to safely be out) can take that energy and passion from the internet and spread it out as far as we can — making ourselves more visible, more heard, and more of a force to be reckoned with. I know we have the numbers — now we just need the voice and the organization. Who knows, maybe one day there will even be a bisexual bar. One can hope, anyway.

Dating a Bisexual: Should Straights, Gays or Lesbians Go for It?

dating a bisexualMany in the straight, gay and lesbian community are afraid of the big “B” word—Bisexual. Would you date a bisexual? The biases might surprise you.

The hot topic of the moment—not withstanding, First Lady, Michelle Obama’s shorts dilemma—should straight women and lesbian women date a bisexual?

Being a bisexual myself, I find this topic of discussion very humorous. Really, the very same groups who say, ‘its love,’ rights for choice—wouldn’t this fall in line with dating anyone?

I hear it all the time on the streets of Chicago—from the BLGT community that they “tried’ it once, but just couldn’t get over the fact that bisexuals like the opposite sex. Granted, if you are not into it, it can be a hard sell—sort of like udon (Japan noodle) or sushi…I get it. But stop to think; is it really all that different?

In relationships, everyone has had a partner they dated and for whatever reason, it didn’t work out. Do you get upset because they dated someone before you? Of course not! It’s just apart of their past.

They Might Leave Me for Another Man
Well, sorry to state the obvious, but they can leave you for another woman too! Relationships are complicated all by themselves. The fear is internal—it has nothing to do with the person you are dating. If they really truly love you, it shouldn’t matter what partner they had in the past. It’s behind them—they are focusing on you.

They will Never be Satisfied with Just Me
I see a pattern here. Is this something you might be thinking for every relationship you are in—or just bisexuals? Reason, what motives do you think your partner isn’t happy with the relationship you have? It’s true, that there are open relationships popping up all around the world—but this has been since the beginning of time. We puritans (Americans), like to have the one partner—but lets say Japan, there is no divorce—you know why? Because, everyone is having it on the side! (Yes, I’ve lived there for two years—I know)

What Works for One, doesn’t Work For All Bi’s
Just think, some politicians are straight, but they seem to be acceptable to the open marriage rule. It’s only means that you and your partner need to decide what will or won’t work out for the two of you. Generalities don’t play in the whole scheme of the bisexual community. What works for one, may not work for all. Find that special person you can love with your whole heart and mind, and work from there. Love manages a way.